Saturday, March 8, 2014
Sure we "lose" an hour of sleep but there's no reason you can't lay in bed for that extra hour on Sunday. This weekend is the day we return to normalcy and move the clocks forward. At least I think we move them forward, but that forward-backwards part never made sense to me in terms of time. It's like saying you turn a screw right or left, it's a circle, how do you know what's left and right? So enjoy your daylight savings time, the hour of daylight after getting out of work every day. Unless, of course, you're one of those freaks who wakes up super early every day and now you're complaining about it being dark when you wake up. I have no sympathy for you.
Friday, March 7, 2014
A new puppy has been my entree into a massive underground community that I knew nothing about weeks ago. Dog people. They walk their dogs, I walk mine. We meet. The dogs sniff each other, and the other dog owner tells me a 10-minute story about the time they broke up a fight in the dog park. Then they share their dog's bowel history and the time it got lost in a mall and every veterinarian horror story they've ever heard. I do not ask, they volunteer this material. It's interesting, this undercurrent to the society I never knew about. I'm curious what the cat people are like.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
This year, for my birthday party, I'm going to send an email that says, "Instead of buying me gifts this year, I ask that you donate to this charity of my choosing." Then I'll include a link and we'll track how much money I raise. The thing is, I don't normally have birthday parties, and no one every buys me gifts. So, it's a bit odd to ask for something in lieu of something that you would never get in the first place. I should raise no money, but I'm going to give it a shot anyway, it'll be easier to stack rank my friends.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
A big storm was heading for the city, but at the last moment the jet stream edged it south 20 miles. We didn't even get a dusting. But boy, were we ready. I'm not sure if the mayor of the city is friends with the man who has the largest stockpile of the world's road salt, but he spared no expense in caking the streets white. It's all still there waiting to be washed into the storm drains. In the meantime, the salt clouds drift in the wake of busses and cars, and I can taste it while riding my bike home and then on my lips for hours after. Second-hand salt. I'll be the first person to contract hypertension from exercise.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
I was driving along the highway the other day making use of the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane, enjoying cruising along at a nice clip in my personal lane while all the "normals" in the solo lanes jockeyed for position and tried to pass each other. There was one young man in a particular hurry, swerving in and out of tight spaces, stomping on the gas and shooting to at least 30mph over the limit, but never managing to escape our convoy of cars. In spite of speeding, driving recklessly, failing to use a turn signal, and flaunting any traffic law imaginable, he never once veered into the HOV lane. It was interesting to watch him and ponder the extent to which this young man has been trained to avoid a few very specific laws. It made me wonder why I stop at red lights when there are no cars around.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
I was at the drugstore making my annual purchase of a huge bottle of ibuprofen and I noticed that bottle right next to the one I normally buy said "dye-free" ibuprofen. Since I'm quite certain that the dye isn't what gets rid of my headaches, and it's not like I need to have my pills dyed to make them more appetizing, I selected the dye-free option. Then I noticed that dye-free costs $1 more than the dyed version. Listen, unless some dye company is paying the ibuprofen makers to take dye off their hands, that doesn't make sense. So, not only have they been poisoning me with unnecessary dye for decades, but now I have to pay them to take it out.
Airlines are doing it all wrong. They thank you for choosing their airline at the end of your flight, when we all know that you chose their airline because it was the absolute cheapest way to get to your destination. They try to build goodwill by reminding you several times that your flight was on time (whenever it is), and they give you reward points that don't add up to much unless you fly for work every week. They're getting nowhere with these tactics. Then, the other day I saw something new: I was sitting in an airport bar and a person from the airline walked in after a flight had been delayed, and made an announcement to everyone in the bar that the flight was back on time. About 10 people slugged their drinks and ran for the gate. It would have been so easy to leave them behind, but I guarantee those drinkers now have real goodwill towards that airline. That's all it takes a real gesture so that you don't have to tell everyone at home that you missed your flight because you were in a bar.
Saturday, March 1, 2014
You have to admit that it's possible that you are insane. We all have to. None of us has had the privilege of inhabiting another person's consciousness, so we don't really know what other people are like. Sure, we can measure our intentions, actions, and behaviors against each other, but no one else knows what's going on in your head. On a related note, I noticed a week ago that everyone I know has replaced "thank you" with "thank you so much" in their speech. Has this been happening for years and I just noticed? Is this a new thing? Or maybe I'm crazy?