The Outlaw

When I was living in Minneapolis there was some guy running around downtown with a jar of quarters plugging all the parking meters. If you ran out of time while your car was parked, he'd try to stay one step ahead of the meter maid and pay for your parking. He asked nothing in return. I heard of him but never saw him. And I never got the chance to. The parking meter plugger was so popular that stores downtown began plugging meters for their customers, and then all hell broke loose. The city was depending on those outrageous parking tickets for income, so they made it illegal to pay anyone's meter but your own. The meter plugger moved underground. They made him an outlaw. Perhaps a rather dull outlaw, but he gets to wear the badge all the same.

Dental Technology

If there's one industry that's years behind in the internet game, it's dentistry. My dentist is very attentive and does fantastic work, but his front office crew is new to anything digital. Though they took a massive step forward when they began sending me emails reminding me it was time to book an appointment. They send them from an AOL account. It's nice because I can watch those emails slowly move to the bottom of my inbox until they get pushed to the second page that I never look at. Their communications impressed me nonetheless, but then on my last visit the front office had a problem with their computer, so they brought the laptop into the room and had my dentist fix it while I was laying back in the chair with my mouth open. I wanted to jump up and give them a hand.

Computer Help

Someone called today at my work with a question about how to download some photos. The person in our office who fielded the call couldn't help the person, so she transferred him to a very talented web developer who hails from Russia. He's one of our top guys, a person I love to work with since he has some kind of web magic where he can fix any issue I encounter. I can hear him when he talks on the phone, but it's not an issue as we seldom take phone calls. If you've ever tried to help someone you're unfamiliar with who's working remotely on a computer you can't see, it's difficult to diagnose the problem. After hearing him talk for about a minute, I kept hearing things like, "No, I'm not in Russia," and "I'm here in the office." It was clear that the guy who called thought he'd been sent to some overseas call bank. If the caller only knew.

TV Delay

The neighbors in my apartment building have a different cable provider that plays live sporting events on TV about two seconds earlier than my cable provider. The neighbors are big football fans and often host parties during the playoffs. It's nice because I don't care about any of the teams that are still in the playoffs, but I've been watching football all season and feel some demented drive to see it through to the end. So with my neighbors getting the game a couple seconds earlier, I always know when a big play is two seconds away from happening because I'll hear them scream in outrage or jubilation. And it's then that I'll look up from my book to watch. I see the whole game live but only have to pay attention to it for one or two minutes.

Direction Question

I had my headphones on while walking back to work from lunch, and a young woman waved me down and started talking. I took my headphones off and she asked, "Which way is Hudson Street?" She was not a native English speaker. I considered the question for a moment while trying to remember, and then I pointed the way. "It's that way, two or three blocks." She nodded, "Okay, thank you." And then she walked in the exact opposite direction. Even if she didn't understand the words, it was very clear which way I was pointing. Perhaps her friends told her to go in the opposite direction of Hudson to find them, or maybe she was taking an English course and assigned to spend some real world time getting directions. Regardless, I walked down Hudson St a few times today and did not see her.

Scuba Class

I learned to scuba dive at the youngest possible age -- 12 years old. It seems they think that 12 year olds are capable of dealing with the dangers and risks of scuba diving. Most of our time was spent in a swimming pool that was only 15 feet deep, so there was very little danger there. Since I grew up in Wisconsin we had to do our open water dives in an abandoned rock quarry that had filled in with rainwater. Our class of 10 people was a bunch of guys in their 30s then me and one elderly woman. I was, of course, paired up with the elderly woman as my dive partner. During the course of our open water dive I managed to lose my partner and both of my flippers. I'm not sure if they still offer scuba diving lessons that young, but they may want to reconsider it. As of yet, I have never gone scuba diving again since that one experience.

Alarm Clocks

I've been reading the work a sleep doctor. This is a guy who suggests ways to improve your sleep, help you fall asleep, and in general get the most out of your hours at rest. He is a strong advocate of not using an alarm clock. According to his research the most important aspect of getting good sleep is allowing your body to wake naturally and not be beholden to a buzzing clock on your nightstand. More than a couple times, my alarm clock has failed. On these occasions I have seldom woken up at the hour I needed to be awake to get to work, get to the airport, or meet friends to go skiing. I believe everything this doctor says about alarm clocks, and yet I have to wonder if he's so out of touch that he doesn't understand that alarm clocks are the only reason half of the people on this planet get out of bed on time.

Bike Accidents

I was a freshman in college riding my bike alongside the curb in the middle of campus. I had a green light at an upcoming intersection. A car driving alongside me was making a right turn, and at the last second he saw me and slammed on his brakes so he wouldn't run me over. I'd seen him as well, so I'd hit my brakes so as not to be run over. A split second later, the guy who stopped-short was rear-ended by someone not paying attention. We sat, him in his crunched car and me on my bike looking at each other for a moment. I wasn't sure whose fault the accident was, so I pedaled off looking the other way. Turned out to be the right move.