Myself and My Enemies

When I worked at a newspaper, the only stories I read in that paper were my own, and ones written by the colleagues I didn't like. I read my own to see how bad the copy editors screwed them up, and I read my enemies' stories to make sure I was doing better than them. It's similar with Twitter now. I read my tweets to notice my misspellings, and I read tweets from politicians and celebrities who annoy me so that I can boost my self-esteem by thinking that they're idiots.