Saturday, May 21, 2011

Fire Talking

My office building's superintendent does a talk about fire safety every couple months. These talks are only required twice a year, but he has such gusto for fire safety that he's compelled to give them more frequently. At my building, I'm forbidden to bring my bicycle in the passenger elevator, so I have to take the freight elevator up every day. Over the course of the last year I've gotten to know the guy who runs the freight, so he fills me in on all the building news. It turns out that this fire safety talk is only supposed to take two, three minutes max. Ours lasts about 15 minutes. That's not a big deal for one person, but it's our whole office. Add up all those lost 15 minutes across the staff, and it's like two or three full days of work for one person. I propose that we cancel all future fire drills and instead have lotteries to give one person an extra two days off. Then we just have to hope the building doesn't burn down.

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