Please Don't Give Your Child a Horrible Name

I was drinking a warm Pabst Blue Ribbon and sitting on a bouldering pad when my friend of a friend, an expectant parent, told me that they were considering their child-naming options. At the top of their list: "El Tigre." If we weren't short on beer I would have spit my mouthful out. Everyone has the right to name their child whatever they want, but these two Minnesotans were reaching too far. I told them that, as someone with an odd name, it could make things difficult, and I expected that Todd and Jenny maybe didn't understand what that might be like. And I was lucky, "Rocky" has served me well, but I worry that with an exponentially weird name will come exponentially weird backlash. It's best to stick with real words.