Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Worse than the Electric Chair


A particular ski resort in Utah used to have a double chairlift that took about 17 minutes to amble up the hillside. The trip length varied based on how often the lift had to shut down so the lifties could clear fallen skiers out of the unloading area. Sometimes you'd sit two chairs back from unloading, waiting in the gusty wind for a few minutes while someone collected their skis and poles from the crash zone. Then sometimes you'd bob up and down at a sudden stop halfway up the hill, waiting a few minutes until they kicked the chairlift's lawnmower engine back on. It got to the point that some skiers expected the liftie to shut down the chair whenever they downloaded at the top, but one liftie had had enough. I remember standing at the top and watching a guy bail while getting off the lift. He wasn't in any danger at all; just lying at the bottom of the off loading ramp trying to collect his poles, but he kept yelling over his shoulder, "Shut down the lift! Shut it down!" The liftie was standing there yelling back, "Just pick up your stuff! Get outta there." It's times like that when I feel most in tune with the ethos of utilitarianism. That guy lying on the ground might be having an awful time, but at least the rest of us aren't waiting on the chairlift.

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