Tuesday, November 27, 2012
During the holiday I ended up hanging around several little kids missing their front teeth. I remember losing mine. I was nowhere near mature enough to handle my adult teeth so early. I mean, you still believe in the Tooth Fairy at that point. You're nowhere near ready to take care of teeth for the rest of your life. Besides, they must have been huge. My head is abnormal in its largeness, and my teeth look normal now, so I can only assume that when I was that young I looked like a caricature of the Cheshire Cat. When I was losing my front teeth, I was too impatient to wait for them to fall out, plus someone told me that you could choke to death on them. I was more worried that I wouldn't have anything for the Tooth Fairy if I swallowed them, plus I must have been short on cash at the time because I was in a hurry to get rid of those things. I went ahead and removed them using the old trick of tying one end of a string to your tooth and the other to a doorknob and then slamming the door. It was some handy home dentistry.