Sunday, July 7, 2013
Reverse Alphabetical Order
My childhood friend Marc Zuluger was last in roll call every day, which meant he had the last cubby in kindergarten, the locker right next to the door in the hallway, and the back right seat in every classroom that sat in alphabetical order. Then one day a new student arrived: Brandy Zwizzler. And just like that, Marc was elevated one notch, no longer having to hear the expectant "and" before his name was called last each morning. If I were a grammar school principal, I'd dictate that in even-number grades kids would be put in alphabetical order, and it odd number grades they'd be listed in reverse-alphabetical order. Then again, I suppose those kids would struggle that much more with learning the alphabet, and that's why I'm not cut out for education.