Fires and Freight

At work they won't let me take my bike into the passenger elevator during normal working hours, so I have to use the service elevator with all the people moving furniture around my building and all the delivery guys. I'll chat with the guy running the elevator about people getting kicked out of the building for not paying their rent. The thing about the freight elevator is that they won't let me run it by myself, and sometimes in the morning there's nobody there to take me up. So I'll have to hop on the building's intercom to ask the front desk to send someone over. The intercom in the freight elevator has only one button, but I have no idea how to use it. I'll hold it down, hit it once, or push it a series of times, and each time it does whatever it wants. Sometimes it pops on and I can hear everything on the other end, and sometimes it stays dark and other times it won't turn off. It was the latter on the day that I talked at length about how fire drills in the building are too long and difficult to understand, and they're too loaded with stories of certain death. I know the guy at the front desk heard everything I said over the intercom, though his behavior to me hasn't changed at all. I guess he retires soon. Whenever that is, I'm definitely taking the last day off in case he tries to burn me out of my office.